1.05.2010

New Life

As I type this post, one of my best friends is giving birth for the first time. She is bringing into the world a beautiful little girl that will become a part of our lives forever. She will call me 'Auntie Meig' and grow up to learn all sorts of things (including how to use words like 'onomatopoeia' and 'audacious'). I cannot wait to meet her!

This gets me thinking about my own life and where it is going. As I'm sure many of you have heard me say, 'I don't need to have my own kids to have my own children.' This fact is just as true today as it was when I first said it. I am not rushing around trying to find a husband so I can pop some kids out because those things are not necessary for me to function in every day life.

Yes, it would be easier if I had a man around to do a few things like, say, clean the car off in the morning when it snows, mow the lawn (so I don't have to pay the neighbor kid to do it - allergies prevent me from doing it myself), hold the ladder when I change the screens/storm windows, help me take out and put in the air conditioners, drive me places when I get tired of driving myself, and the list could go on and on...

But quite honestly, I do just fine taking out the air conditioner with the help of a random friend (or their significant other :)), I do just fine propping the ladder up and going up and down it to do the windows (although this year Billy helped me, thanks!), I pay the neighbor kid to mow my lawn which gives him a task and a sense of responsibility, and as much as I despise it, I do just fine getting up a little early in the mornings when it snows and going out to brush off the car, turn it on, lock the doors and going back in the house to finish getting ready. I am just fine on my own.

If I find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with and who wants to tolerate me for the rest of theirs, so be it. I'm not opposed to getting married, please don't think that at all. I just realized that for a number of years all I did was pine, search, whine, search, moan, groan and it brought nothing but a pain in my heart and nothing to my soul. It was time to find happiness for myself. If someone else comes along and makes me happier, great, but for now? I'm happy being me. :) Someday I hope to be able to adopt children. To take them out of the horrors of the 'system' and give them a loving home they can call their own. Give them opportunities they never thought they would ever have. Believe in them when they thought no one else would or could. Show them that everyone is important and that they are special to me in a way that no one else is.

Until that day, I'll spoil my nieces and nephews and love on them like they are my own children like my beloved Aunt Penny did to hers. I will continue to strive to be more and more like the beautiful soul she was and saw in me.

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