Solace in the Silence

I find life funny. Ironic funny. Sometimes 'haha' funny. Mostly ironic funny. Nevertheless, it amuses me how people work. How they interact. How they relate to each other (or don't relate, for that matter).

When you live alone, life is often quiet. You find the more noise the better, but then when there is too much noise, you get lost in your own mind. You get lost in your own mind because you're more comfortable there...it's where you spend most of your time.

It's worse if your personal space has been violated at some point by a break-in, etc. The silence scares you. It frightens you that possibly tonight might be a night where you wake up at 2am to the police pounding on your front door. That you may wake up and a robber is taking your possessions. That at some point, when you're not paying enough attention, your life may be violated again. This fear sticks with you years after the first incident occurs.

When people come to stay, you make them feel at home. You do your best to make them an essential part of your life. You strive to make them feel as comfortable as possible, so that maybe they won't leave too soon. Maybe they'll stick around long enough that you feel safe to be alone again.

Yes, this is all true.

It's frightening because you don't want to latch onto these people too strongly as to scare them away, but what is too strong? Each person is different. Each person has their own personal space that they need. Each person feels differently. So you open your heart and your home to people to love and care for them. Then when they leave, you're petrified they will leave forever. This fear will rarely be abated. It's frightening when the silence sets in.

Yet there's solace in the silence. There's calm. There's contentment. The daily routine continues. But the fear those people will reject you lingers on.

I say this to you, as a little gem of advice: when you encounter someone in your life who lives alone (especially at a fairly 'young' age), have kindness and compassion for them. Don't laugh too hard when they talk a little too much. Don't freak out when they try to lure you back into their home and heart. They get lonely. You've got peoples. (Despite the fact that I genuinely believe that kitties and puppies are peoples, too.) Remember that they are yearning for your attention because they genuinely care for you and like your presence in their life, but when they're alone so much, it's tough to differentiate between the silence and the noise. It all runs together.

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